Volleyball

Just got back from our first Rehab League Volleyball game. We lost to Kirsten Dunst's team. Most of the blame can be attributed to our poor serving. (If ever there was a time for Whitney Houston to relapse, now would be it. Our team desperately needs her.) But we hung in as best we could. "Tony" was surprisingly agile in his panda suit and "Debbie's"upbeat, gung ho attitude kept us from getting too down on ourselves after every miscue.

Even Pat O'Brien chipped in. While his reluctance to wear a shirt was unfortunate, his constant taunting of our opponents clearly got in their heads and we almost came away with a victory.

In fact, if it wasn't for Kirsten Dunst we probably would have won. She's a cagey player, all arms and legs. Pretty much nothing gets past her. Plus she was wearing a plastic garbage bag for a dress. This proved to be an enormous distraction.

After the game she asked me if I wanted to makeout. "My cold sore is totally past being contagious," she promised.

I told Kirsten Dunst I didn't think making out would be emotionally healthy for either of us.

"Oh, I'm not in rehab to, you know, rehab," she said. "I'm here for the publicity. Am trying to get some buzz for my next project, Little Crazy/Beautiful Women II.

I said I wasn't aware that there was a Little Crazy/Beautiful Women I.

"There wasn't," she said.

And then she buried her face in her plastic garbage bag dress and cried.