We watched the NCAA men's final last night. Was surprised to discover how big a fan Whitney Houston is of college basketball. She knew the stats of every player.
"Sean May is better than Night Court!" she'd say every time North Carolina's star player made a shot.
I had Illinois in the pool, so I wasn't too happy about the outcome. "Warren" won the thing and vowed not to spend the winnings on Mexican speedballs.
I believed him.
Pat O'Brien ruined my favorite part of night, "One Shining Moment," the montage of tournament highlights that closes out the broadcast every year. He told Luther Vandross anecdotes throughout the whole thing.
"Luther is my homie," he boasted. "We ran with the same gang in a fat farm one summer."
"Please be quiet, Pat," I said.
"He asked me to be an extra in his 'Power of Love' video, but I couldn't do it that day. Had to interview Joan Van Ark."
"Pat! Please!"
"Luther sang at my 45th birthday. That was special. He told me he wouldn't sing for just anybody at their birthday party. That meant he liked me. He liked me a lot."
"Shut up, Pat!"
"Haven't seen him since his stroke," Pat O'Brien said. "Sick people creep me out."
And then he buried his face in his hands and cried.
"Sean May is better than Night Court!" she'd say every time North Carolina's star player made a shot.
I had Illinois in the pool, so I wasn't too happy about the outcome. "Warren" won the thing and vowed not to spend the winnings on Mexican speedballs.
I believed him.
Pat O'Brien ruined my favorite part of night, "One Shining Moment," the montage of tournament highlights that closes out the broadcast every year. He told Luther Vandross anecdotes throughout the whole thing.
"Luther is my homie," he boasted. "We ran with the same gang in a fat farm one summer."
"Please be quiet, Pat," I said.
"He asked me to be an extra in his 'Power of Love' video, but I couldn't do it that day. Had to interview Joan Van Ark."
"Pat! Please!"
"Luther sang at my 45th birthday. That was special. He told me he wouldn't sing for just anybody at their birthday party. That meant he liked me. He liked me a lot."
"Shut up, Pat!"
"Haven't seen him since his stroke," Pat O'Brien said. "Sick people creep me out."
And then he buried his face in his hands and cried.
2 Comments:
I love this blog! Hilarious!
Hey, "One Shining Moment" is my favorite part of the tournament too. And, I never thought I'd ever have anything in common with a crack-head. Shows how much I know.
Great blog! I am currently reading James Frey's "A Million Little Pieces," and this actually goes hand-in-hand with that. Except that what really goes on in rehab is much more crazy.
Tell me when Whitney ends up in a rehab relationship! Or when Bobby comes for Family Day!
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