Tuesday, April 19, 2005

So Joaquin Phoenix has been here for five days now and I'm pretty sure he's yet to take a shower. He wears that caribou parka 24/7. Must be sweating up storm under there. I admire his dedication to preparing for his role, but he's making everybody nauseous. Big time.

"The Inuit do not bathe!" Joaquin Phoenix yelled at me, as we passed each other in the hallway. Clearly he's a little defensive about it. Guess he noticed how I had covered my nose when I walked by. "If I am to prepare for the role of Nanook, I must not wash myself! Bruckheimer is producing it! I'm going to be bigger than Nic Cage! And the Inuit don't bathe!"

I'm not sure where he's getting his information. The Inuit must at the least bathe from time to time. I'd press him about it, but then I'd have to get closer to him. It's not worth it. He smells like rotten sea lion.

"They really don't bathe!" he reiterated, as I ran to my room as quickly and politely as I could. "Ever see a shower stall in an igloo? I think not!"


Blogger Dad22 said...

I would love an update on Whitney's progress.

10:04 AM  
Blogger www.tobyweiss.com said...

Yes, a Whitney update, puh-lease!
And, yes, Joaquin DOES look like he'd smell, yo!

4:24 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

so thats why he was acting sketchy on OHPRA for ladder 49. john revolting,i mean travolta, had to go back stage and escourt him out like an animal.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Coulson said...

This blog rocks man. I wish I was in rehab with you

10:38 PM  
Blogger Millie J. O. Barreto said...

Who are you? I don't think Joaquin would ever say he is going to be bigger than Nicolas Cage. So your story must be bogus.

7:33 PM  

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