Pat O'Brien was late for group yesterday. At first we thought it was in protest of Sheryl Anne taking away his foosball privileges for the O'Punk'd incident, but when he showed up an hour later he acted like nothing was wrong.

"Top O'Brien the morning, my peeps!" he said, plopping down on the couch.

"Where have you been?" "Debbie" asked him.

"Sleeping the sleep of the just, Debster," he replied.

"Group started an hour ago," I said.

"Good one, Adamski," he said with a chuckle.

"My Bobby loves me so much!" Whitney Houston said.

"No really, it did," I said to Pat O'Brien. "Group started at 10. It's now 11."

"You forget to set your clock forward for Daylight Savings Time?" "Tony" asked.

"No, no, Bunny Man," Pat O'Brien answered, "I don't practice Daylight Savings Time."

He looked at us like he thought we were all dying to know why he didn't practice Daylight Savings Time. Truth is we all kinda were, but none of us wanted to give him the satisfaction of appearing interested in his life. We managed to hold out for a few seconds, but then "Debbie" broke down and asked him why he didn't practice Daylight Savings Time.

"I don't want one less hour of me," he said with a snort. "Ho!"

Then he offered a low-five to "Debbie," who out of politeness gave him one.

I wouldn't have.