Monday, April 04, 2005

Pat O'Brien was late for group yesterday. At first we thought it was in protest of Sheryl Anne taking away his foosball privileges for the O'Punk'd incident, but when he showed up an hour later he acted like nothing was wrong.

"Top O'Brien the morning, my peeps!" he said, plopping down on the couch.

"Where have you been?" "Debbie" asked him.

"Sleeping the sleep of the just, Debster," he replied.

"Group started an hour ago," I said.

"Good one, Adamski," he said with a chuckle.

"My Bobby loves me so much!" Whitney Houston said.

"No really, it did," I said to Pat O'Brien. "Group started at 10. It's now 11."

"You forget to set your clock forward for Daylight Savings Time?" "Tony" asked.

"No, no, Bunny Man," Pat O'Brien answered, "I don't practice Daylight Savings Time."

He looked at us like he thought we were all dying to know why he didn't practice Daylight Savings Time. Truth is we all kinda were, but none of us wanted to give him the satisfaction of appearing interested in his life. We managed to hold out for a few seconds, but then "Debbie" broke down and asked him why he didn't practice Daylight Savings Time.

"I don't want one less hour of me," he said with a snort. "Ho!"

Then he offered a low-five to "Debbie," who out of politeness gave him one.

I wouldn't have.


Blogger dannymccaslin said...

Pat O'Brien is a douche bag.

11:30 AM  
Blogger CapeCat said...


keep writing. you're gifted. i worship your words. This is the best place on the internet ever.

I thought I saw Pat Obrien sitting next to Ted Kennedy at Roo Bar in Hyannis yesterday. It must have been a dream.

I love you, cape cat

11:42 AM  
Blogger Dina said...

this blog rules

11:53 AM  
Blogger Vinnie 1 Hit said...

Here's another funny Pat O'Brien Blog:

12:32 PM  
Blogger ollywompus said...

dude, the best freakin' blog on the 'net, by far...

this should be made into a movie


12:57 PM  
Blogger ollywompus said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:57 PM  
Blogger tedmom said...

This blog is so hot. It makes me just wanna go crazy like Pat. Since I don't drink, use drugs or hang with hookers, I'm thinkin' I might just have to binge on a few freakin' expensive European chocolate bars. Does that make me a bad person?

2:51 PM  
Blogger a. said...

Wonderful writing. You have great timing and restraint. Truly a delight to read.

9:19 PM  

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