Friday, April 22, 2005

I had a dream about Sheryl Anne last night. We were cast members in a touring production of Fame. I was Leroy and she was Coco. The play was just like the movie except that Leroy and Coco were lovers and we got to make out on stage in front of everybody. It was awesome.

Sheryl Anne was a great kisser in the dream. Her lips were soft and our teeth rarely clashed. Afterwards we hung out backstage and talked about checkers and kickboxing. She really seemed into me.

But then Pat O'Brien showed up. Needless to say, the dream pretty much sucked the rest of the way. It was weird too because sometimes he'd be Pat O'Brien, other times he'd be a seal pup. And he wasn't any less annoying as a seal pup. I mean, seal pups are usually pretty cute. But the Pat O'Brien seal pup wasn't at all. He kept barking about how African-American women thought he was so sexy.

"Bark-bark! Black chicks dig me!" he'd say.

It made it hard for me to get anywhere with Sheryl Anne. I hoped it would turn into an erotic dream, but with the Pat O'Brien seal pup hanging around that wasn't going to happen.

"Bark-bark! I got busy with Jackée in her trailer once! She said I was the best she's ever had!"

I tried to add Joaquin Phoenix to my dream, so he could come along in his caribou parka and club the Pat O'Brien seal pup to death, but I failed. Instead I wound up accidentally changing the dream altogether. Sheryl Anne and the touring production of Fame were suddenly gone, and all that was left was me and the Pat O'Brien seal pup. We were at Walgreens, waiting in line to get our Vicodin prescriptions filled.

"Bark-bark! I call dibs on the piece of ass running the cash register," the Pat O'Brien seal pup said. "She is so fucking hot."

I can't remember what happened in the rest of the dream. Thank god.


Blogger Random and Odd said...

Yay! all caught up again! I love this..I feel bad when non-blog people ask me what 'book' i'm reading and I say, "Oh it's something called, 'in rehab with pat something or other...good book.'

I love this site. I am your biggest fan!! keep writing.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Ralph, the Dog said...

I am lovin' the Sheryl Ann gig. Although I don't think she would care much for Fame. Too much class.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Hoka-shay-honaqut said...

Isn't it time for someone to have a major relapse?

11:56 AM  
Blogger CapeCat said...

i love you.

cape cat.

ps.keep writing

1:17 PM  
Blogger Marv said...

Pat, it appears i was chatting with you the other day and we got cut off or something. If you want to continue our discussion you knwo my screen name.

Marv Albert

2:49 PM  
Blogger gttim said...

Leroy and Coco making out? Sorry, Leroy is more likely to make out with Pat O'Brien. Don't you ever watch VH1? I don't think it was you that controlled the drea, but it was Leroy, and he got what he wanted- alone time with Pat.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

ahhhh, I need my fix. Where's my update???

hee hee.

2:36 AM  
Blogger Sk8god43 said...

I'd bash that Seal Pup in a second.....

11:17 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I am so into this blog...It is so fucking hot...I want to get crazy with it.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Mariposa said...

You are effing brilliant. I love this. Keep it going.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Why I feel so crazy. I wanna get some hookers and some coke!

8:48 PM  

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