We watched American Idol for our allotted TV time last night. I thought most of the performances were uninspired. Pat O'Brien is a big Vonzell fan. He got all revved up when she sang.

"Black chicks dig me," he explained. Then he winked at "Debbie."

"Debbie" isn't black. She just has this condition that's darkened her skin. It's an after effect of her withdrawal. The doctor's are puzzled by it.

"Yeah, me and Patti LaBelle had a thing for a while," Pat O'Brien announced.

We all made like we didn't hear him.

Woke up this morning to find they had screwed up the phone numbers for certain Idol contestants. This means I accidentally voted for Scott Savol seventeen times. Damn.

I could really use some Demerol right now.