Thursday, March 24, 2005

There was a mandatory barbecue out on the main lawn last night. As mandatory rehab center barbecues go it wasn't too bad.

Sheryl Anne was there. She looked fantastic. I asked her if she'd like me to get her another plate of ribs. She declined with a smile. God, she's great.

After dinner we hung around the common room and sang songs. Pat O'Brien had his mandolin. He actually wasn't that bad. He sang "Eve of Destruction" and "To Sir, With Love." I just wish he hadn't taken his shirt off. Nobody wanted to see that.

"85 push-ups a day, my peeps," Pat O'Brien boasted.

As he began to play the opening chords of "Year of the Cat" the doors swung open and in walked a sweaty, skinny African-American woman trailed by a wagon full of fancy suitcases.

"Hey, babies: Whitney's in da house!" she proclaimed.

Many of the residents appeared happy to see her. I guess they all go way back together. Pat O'Brien seemed to know her, too. He greeted her with a big hug and a low five.

"Crack is wack!" Pat O'Brien shouted.

"Crack is wack!" Whitney replied with glee.

"Crack is wack!" they both yelled in unison.

And then they laughed and laughed and laughed.

11 Comments:

Blogger Dad22 said...

Isn't this the same facility where Billy Joel is staying?

7:12 AM  
Blogger Fro Munga said...

Isn't Courtney Love due for another rehab assignment?

7:41 AM  
Blogger Johnny_k9 said...

It is far far better to be addicted to painkillers than to be stuck in Rehab with Pat O'Brien.

7:49 AM  
Blogger Neal said...

Please, please tell me Noelle Bush is arriving to the clinic tomorrow to make naughty tapes with Pat.

9:42 AM  
Blogger FKINGroovn said...

is this the rehab that elvis goes to? or the one mighty mouse went to? im not sure. cool stories tho.

11:22 AM  
Blogger CapeCat said...

Adam,
you are so f-in hot. keep the Pat Obrien posts coming. You are a genius

love capecat

11:50 AM  
Blogger MIK3Y said...

Is Pat gonna go f*cking CRAZY with Whitney Houston anytime soon? We all know how he likes his meat dark from time to time...afterall he is a wanna be "brutha" that gets no respect..LOL I'm thinking Bobby Brown will be breaking in thru an upper floor window soon all cracked out in a jealous RAGE!

11:52 AM  
Blogger Ontario Emperor said...

mik3y expressed the Bobby Brown idea before I did, which means that it can't happen because it would be so expected.

Scary thought; Michael Jackson had an addiction problem at one point.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Tyranny said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Tyranny said...

this is so brilliant. so brilliant, in fact, that it made me bury my face in my hands and weep.

just like pat obrien.

12:48 PM  
Blogger MIK3Y said...

LOL emperor now there's a thought...Michael Jackson being sentenced to this rehab for child porn addiction????....I'd love to attend the graduation party..! LOL

1:49 PM  

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