Friday, March 25, 2005

The Terri Schiavo case came up in group yesterday. It was interesting to hear everybody's take on the issue. Many people sided with her husband, but at the same time empathized with her parents.

"Tony" thought the government had no business getting into it. "Republicans are just using her for political gain," he said. "It's despicable."

"Debbie" worried what the dispute said about the sanctity of life, and was glad President Bush was defending Schiavo.

Whitney Houston said that her and Bobby's new reality show was going to be "better than Night Court."

Pat O'Brien asked, "Is it just me or are tracheotomy scars kind of a turn on?" Then he winked at "Flo," who, understandably, chose not to weigh in on the discussion.

Obviously, the topic hits close to home for her, thus she couldn't find the right words to express how she feels. Plus her computer voice box thingy was acting buggy. It kept repeating the same phrase over and over again in Japanese. "Warren," who used to mule opium out of Tokyo, told us that it was saying "The mayonnaise has gone bad. The mayonnaise has gone bad. The mayonnaise has gone bad..."

So out of respect for "Flo," none of us complained when her monkey assistant dry humped our legs.


Blogger g_nee said...

OMG!! SUPER funny!! Keep it going!!

7:37 AM  
Blogger kid said...

Could you do me a favor? The reception desk bitches have blocked my number here and the messages for Pat are piling up. Can you pass along some of the more suicide-hotline-urgent ones? Paula Abdul wants Pat to know that she hasn't been front-groped like that since she was one of Magic's Laker Girls. Also, Mary Lou Retton called and wanted me to pass him the message that she misses her "insider". Actually, what she said exactly was that she misses HIM "insider", whatever that means, but pass along the version that makes sense, 'kay? Fanks. The rest seem to be from bookies and "friends" asking about "merchandise", as well as some wack-jobs claiming to be his wife and kids, but I guess they can wait in the trash with the bills and death-threats. Fanks again, fanks a million.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Ontario Emperor said...

One of the underlying assumptions in this post is that celebrities are self-absorbed, and others are not. However, don't our addictions serve to meet a deep need inside of ourselves? From that standpoint, one can say that all addicts are self-absorbed.

Pat usually provides commentary on Fox Sports Radio's "Morning Extravaganza" (with Van Earl Wright, Andrew Siciliano, and Krystal Fernandez), but has understandably not appeared recently. However, this morning's show repeatedly played a "Hi, I'm Pat O'Brien" sound bite. If they start playing the name-dropping sound bites, it will be like he never left.

8:21 AM  
Blogger MIK3Y said...

Have you heard anything on Tom Sizemore checking in anytime soon? LOL he was sentenced to 21 months in jail and 4 months rehab?? ...that dumb ho..Heidi Fleiss really did a number on him not to mention all the crystal meth..poor guy..*sniffles*

9:26 AM  

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