Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I'm not a drug counselor or anything, but I don't think Pat O'Brien is making much progress in group. He's been resistant to opening up and taking ownership of his addiction. Instead he keeps blaming it on the Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards break-up.

"They were so beautiful together," he said. "What person wouldn't resort to coke, and crystal meth, and Oxycontin, and H-Bombs, and horse tranquilizers, and Robitussin after seeing something that beautiful die?"

Sheryl Anne is losing patience with him. She bites her lip and lets out a small sigh every time he makes another excuse. She's easily the sexiest drug counselor I've ever had.

I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her. Wait, am I falling in love with her? No, I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her. I'm not falling in love with her.

At the end of group, Pat O'Brien asked everyone to "huddle up" for a group hug. "Tony," "Debbie," and "Warren" managed to pass off like they didn't hear him, but "Flo" and I were cornered and couldn't say no.

The hug was hours ago and I've showered three times since, but I still smell like Brut and monkey assistant.

6 Comments:

Blogger CapeCat said...

I coulda sworn I saw Pat Obrien in line at Clem and Ursie's in Provincetown last night, holding hands with Pearline Dubious, one of the town's most popular transgenders. Or maybe it was just a dream.

Love the blog more than life itself,

Cape Cat

12:08 PM  
Blogger MIK3Y said...

LOL Adam you're too funny dude..
btw has Lara Spencercome to visit yet?
She was a pee-on reporter here in NYC before teaming up with that CLOWN on the west coast...I hear she's holding down the fort on the show and MGMT is looking for a replacement for Patty'O considering his fuck ups and AGE...
new youngblood I'm thinking...
and LARA is "so FUCKING HOT"...Id love to "suck her tits and GO CRAZY with her"...

12:14 PM  
Blogger Ken Savage said...

Stop it, you're giving me a Pat O'Brien boner! hahaha

7:59 PM  
Blogger pistolet_a_zoe said...

How dare you...I'm sure Alan smells lovely.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

i will piss myself for hours in glee due to the last line of this post.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Steve Westphal said...

I like your site. Come visit my site at Drug Rehab Newsand leave some info or articles about alcohol addiction
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6:04 PM  

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